Member-only story
One feels good in the short term. The other is worth more in the long run.
For many years, I used the question of “Do people like me?” as the yardstick to measure whether I was successful at work or in a relationship.
To that end, I focused on being a people pleaser and avoided difficult conversations at all costs. And it worked! I’m pretty darn likable if I say so myself.
But in observing leaders and people I aspire to be like, I’ve noticed that they don’t prioritize being likable.
Instead, they share the following traits that make me respect the hell out of them:
They are consistent
My former manager is someone I deeply respect. We also happen to be close friends. But in the workplace, she never gave me a free pass. She held me to the same, and possibly even higher, standards as her other direct reports.
They are authentic
People I respect don’t change their viewpoints and values depending on who is watching. They are true to themselves in every situation, even when their opinions are unpopular.
