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The Way to Get Over Heartbreak isn’t Simply to Find Someone New
“You’re not going to truly get over him until you date someone new.”
I heard these words time and time again after my last breakup, a crushingly painful break-up that left me heartbroken and my self-confidence shattered. From friends and colleagues to well-meaning Uber drivers, these words were always stated matter-of-factly. Sometimes they were even preceded by a dramatic pause, which was particularly annoying as I would eagerly lean in ready to receive some super-secret knowledge. Because I was sincerely grateful for their sympathy and touched by their genuine desire to help, I would usually respond with “Gosh, you’re totally right! Thank you!!” but what I wanted to blurt out was “Um. Duh. Obviously. What do you think I’ve been trying to do these last few years? Don’t you think I’ve been trying to date? Do you think I like feeling like this?”
So as I often do when given unsolicited advice, I listened politely, carefully considered their points and then promptly ignored everything they said. Instead, I threw myself into exercise, took up golf lessons, joined Toastmasters to improve my public speaking skills, developed a strong network of friendships, volunteered, joined a board and travelled as much as possible. I went on dates here and there and tried my best to give these guys a chance but more out of a fear…
